"I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do." - Georgia O'Keeffe
I recently saw this quote on an Instagram story. It is very relatable right now.
It is a time of change for me. Change of place, job, people, myself - and I'm terrified. Self doubt creeps in and it can be paralyzing. I temporarily forget that I have years of experience in design, that I can hold a conversation and that I am actually a really good person to have on your team. Whether it is friendship, work or a trivia night.
And whether I am terrified or not, I still move forward. I go to the event. I take on the job. I throw myself into a group of people I have yet to win over. All because I wholeheartedly believe everything is connected. If I don't insert myself into the new group, then how will I make friends? If I don't go to the event, well, I could miss out on the connection of a lifetime. If I don't take on the job, then how in the world do I expect to be a freelancer?
A few things have been helping me move forward lately:
- The Rise podcast by Rachel Hollis. She is empowering to women in a tough love, best friend kind of way. She recently did a few podcasts reading some chapters of her most recent book "Girl, Wash Your Face." I'm sold. I've listened to her past episodes as well. They've really helped me chill out and find motivation.
- I've stopped lying to myself. I got this from the podcast mentioned above. Let me explain. So many times I say I am going to do something for myself. "I'm going to go to the BNI networking meeting. I'm going to the gym today. I'm going to watercolor for myself." When things come up like work, invitations from others, deciding the couch is pretty comfortable, or just being terrified of something out of my comfort zone - I tend to throw out my needs first and make excuses as to why I can't do it today. I'll do it tomorrow or next week. This has just created a pattern. And I've been doing it for a while. So, now I wake up. I make a list of everything I need and want to do today. And I do it. All. It's only been about a week for me at this point, but it feels so great. Truth is, I do have the time. And I am not that busy to not take care of myself.
- "The Power of Now," by Eckhart Tolle. A past coworker recently read this book posted some feelings and quotes about it on social media. He dug up some important things I needed reminded of. I read the book 6 years ago. It was life altering and perspective changing. Over the years this is something I've reminded myself from the book a lot: "Ask yourself what “problem” you have right now, not next year, tomorrow, or five minutes from now. What is wrong with this moment? You can always cope with the Now, but you can never cope with the future — nor do you have to. The answer, the strength, the right action or the resource will be there when you need it, not before, not after." - Focusing on moving forward in the now, without worrying about a future that hasn't even happened yet takes a lot of weight off.
- I've been a better friend and partner. When I am better to others, things go better for me. I don't have a typical 9-5 in the publication world anymore. I set my hours. I choose what I do on my breaks. I am communicating with multiple people all over the U.S. daily. And I love it. While change is scary to me (have have always worked in an office), have had a breakthrough recently and I feel like I have hit the refresh button. I'm more productive. I am catching up with friends more. I'm more present at home. I am hustling. It's for me and I am excited and optimistic about where it will go. It makes me a better and happier person and motivation and creativity are blooming.
- I've reached out to others for advice. And you know what? They are happy to help. I have always had a little anxiety about reaching out to new people and even good friends for help and advice. I don't want to be the friend that wears others out with their issues. However, there is a difference between dumping on someone all of the time and really wanting help and advice. I have found that people I know well and others that I am getting to know well have been incredibly helpful and motivational.